Good Riddance 2012

It’s the last few hours before we bid adieu to 2012 and greet the dawn of 2013.  I suppose I should be sad in some ways that we are leaving 2012 behind and I should look back with nostalgia at this past year.  The reality is, I cannot wait to say good riddance to 2012, and it was not a great year.  Many unhappy things occurred over the past year and I am glad that it will soon be over.  I look forward to 2013 and what it has in store for me.  There are at least two events that will occur, God willing, that will change my life dramatically. 

Yet I should probably say why I thought 2012 a not so good year and add the disclaimer that I may in retrospect find that it was a good year.  Right now I am not so inclined to be charitable to 2012.  The major event personally is that my uncle had a stroke and would eventually pass away two months later.  This has changed our family dynamics quite a bit.  I miss him and I grieve for the loss that means to our family.  These last few months have been quite hard on my Dad as that was his only brother.  My uncle was the last living member of my Dad’s side of the family.  It has been hard on us, but I am sure it has been hardest on my Dad.  As a result, our traditions have changed for Uncle Kenny will no longer be coming up to our house on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The loss of traditions like these is among the myriad reasons why I did not really look forward to Christmas this year.  Which is sad, because this past Christmas was probably the last that I will have at home in Sheridan.  Next year, church obligations will probably mean that I will not be home for Christmas. 

There are also a lot of other changes that have occurred in the last year that have left me feeling lonely.  Along with that, I said goodbye to an old friend as well.  I had visited an older woman in a nursing home as part of my duties at Second Church; she passed away a few weeks ago.  When I walk into that place now to visit others, I will miss that fact that she is no longer there.  Many of the people that I once so relied on are no longer a hop, skip, and a jump away.  I talked a lot about that in the last post however, so I will not sound redundant here by rehashing that.  Yet this year has its reasons for not being a great year.

There were also many events that occurred in our world that make this year a year that we would sooner forget.  Events in Syria continue to defy logic as a madman clings to power.  Thousands of average everyday people have lost their lives as a result.  Our nation’s political process continues to show just how broken it is.  I am convinced that kindergarteners have more maturity than many of our elected officials do.  This also seems to be a year in which many shootings have taken place, Aurora and Sandy Hook Elementary being the most notable.  Numerous events have occurred that may make us lose hope.  Many things happen where all we can say is “How long O Lord?”  Followed soon after by “Come Lord Jesus come and come quickly.” 

Sounds like a pretty bleak picture doesn’t it?  Well if you are still reading by this point, I have to say that 2012 was not all bad.  There has been much for which I bless the Lord.  Several of my dearest friends got married over the past year.  Including two of my closest buddies at WTS who decided to take the plunge into that thing called marriage.  I am convinced that Stephen and Rob both married up, and they give hope to us nice guys, apparently we don’t finish last after all.  My roommate and another buddy of mine also got engaged.  To top that off, in the last month, I have had several friends tell me that they are expecting a child.  June seems to be a popular due date.  There have also been several of my classmates that graduated last May who have received calls to churches and begun their ministries.  For these things and more, I bless the Lord. 

I spent ten weeks in a little town called Baldwin, Wisconsin.  Like with my experience in Pella the previous summer, I felt affirmed in my call to ministry, probably to some rural church somewhere.  I really did enjoy my time among those folks who were eager to help me learn what it means to be a pastor.  My time spent among them gives me high hopes for the church that I will hopefully start to serve in the coming year. 

So 2012 had many woes.  It also had quite a few blessings as well.  My good riddance to it is not a bitter statement for while the year was not great, I do not harbor any ill will towards it (Lest any of you think that based on what I have written thus far).  Yet I am ready to see it go.  For 2013 holds great promise.  Chief among those promises is the fact that I will be graduating from Western Theological Seminary in May.  I will be receiving my Masters degree, first in the family to do so.  Much like four years ago when I graduated from Hope, there will be great celebration in that.  For this degree does not belong fully to me.  Without the support of my family these last 26 years, that simply would not have been possible.  My family continues to be a blessing in the support and encouragement that they have been through the years and for that I bless the Lord.

Lord willing, I will begin serving at my first call in the coming year.  Truth be told, I am excited for that and a little nervous.  I have been preparing for this very calling for the last four years.  To be able to use the tools I have accumulated over the years is something I look forward to.  I look forward to being able to walk alongside others as we figure out what it means to live a life of gratitude for the grace that we have been given.  The downside to that is that this means I will probably say goodbye to my Second Reformed Church family in the coming year.  I know that I will especially miss the kids that I work with in their youth group.  It has been a privilege to see those kids grow the last few years and also a blessing to grow in my time at Second Church and I know I will miss all of them.  So that will certainly be a bittersweet moment when it comes.  Yet change is in the air and 2013 will be a year of transition.  With this comes great uncertainty, yet also great promise.

So good riddance to 2012 and hello to 2013.  I must admit that as I have been writing this, my hard-line stance toward 2012 has softened a bit.  It carried with it many woes, but it also had its blessings as well.  Yet there is a lot to look forward to in 2013 and I find myself optimistic for what God has in store for the coming year.  It will not be easy, of that I am sure.  For between now and Graduation I have to write my Credo and in May I go before Zeeland Classis for my last exams for ordination.  Not easy stuff, yet also entirely doable.  Actually, if anything, being overconfident would be my downfall.

I do not know where life is at for you as we enter this coming year.  For many of you, 2012 was a year to remember.  Some of you are probably more emphatic in wishing it good riddance than I am.  For others, like me, it was probably a mixed bag at best.  Yet as we usher in 2013, I find myself optimistic at my prospects and I believe that it will be a better year than this year just past.  As we enter this New Year, I hope that this post finds you well and I pray that God bestows His blessings on you in the coming year.

Transitions

So, you’ve not heard from me in quite some time.  Sorry about that, I hope that maybe I can be more consistent with this thing.  Writing it should not be a chore, but a joy.  It’s been months and I can say that there’s a lot that has happened in that time.  I’m no longer in Baldwin, I’m back now in Holland and am about to finish my second to last semester of seminary.  I can tell you that the rest of my time in Baldwin was good and I miss the people there, much as I miss the people in Pella.  My drive home from Baldwin was beautiful.  I regret though that I did not get out of the car along US 2 and walk the beach for a bit.  It was the most beautiful part of the drive.  Yet, I did not do that and I find myself back here in Holland for what has been an interesting year thus far.

This year is not all that I hoped that it would be.  Actually, I think that in my mind I had been looking forward to a repeat of last.  Silly man that I am though, I should have remembered that no two years are the same while in school.  Each of them is different in their own ways. 

This year has not been easy.  It’s been a little rough on me in fact.  Many of my dearest friends graduated last spring.  Many of my friends left here at seminary have seen their life circumstances change in such a way that I see them less than I would like.  I have also realized that I care less and less for schoolwork.  The Academy is not my passion and it’s not where I would want to make my mark on this world, nor do I feel called to do so.

Those of you that know me best know that I deeply value a few close people.  Many of those people that I value and hold dear came into WTS at the same time as I.  I have taken a little longer to graduate than many of them however and they have moved on.  As a result, I feel the lack at not having them here with me.  It’s as if a bit of the joy that I found in their companionship is gone.  I grieve that loss.  At the same time, I know that they have moved on to new things and that God is taking them to new places, putting them where he has called them.  Thus in my better moments, I take joy in that.  I still have friends here, dear brothers and sisters that give me great joy.  I’ve even met new friends as well.  I can say that the junior class this year is an excellent group of people.  The ones with whom I’ve spoke at length seem to be quality people.  I lament the fact that I will not really get close to them before I graduate here.  

Yet, I am ready to leave this place.  Not because I hate it or harbor bitterness toward it, but because I think that it is time for me to move on.  At the beginning of this year, I asked the Lord what he had to teach me.  This semester has been a lot about patience and trust.  It’s also helped me to realize that I am ready to no longer be a student, at least not in the formal sense of the word.  Rather I’m ready to move on to the parish, to become the pastor of a church somewhere and walk with them as we seek to grow each day in our faith in the Triune God.

I am not meant to be a scholar.  Indeed, I’ve realized that the academic life has in some ways crushed my spirit.  Though I may be a bit bookish, I am not meant to sit all day in my study and read dusty tomes.  Though the pastoral life is one of study, I know that is not all there is to it.  I hope to walk with others and aid them as they grow deeper in understanding what it means to live a life of gratitude for what the Lord has done.  I want to see others grow deeper in their understanding of the faith and I hope that helps me to grow as well.  I want to teach and be taught.  I hope to enter into the sacred moments of ministry, to show others the love of God for broken ones such as ourselves.

The academic life was once a passion of mine.  Yet I have realized that I had not read anything that was truly meaningful to me from my course work for a couple years.  That was, until I read The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  To read what this martyr wrote kindled a fire in me; something that has not been done in far too long.  I realized that the experience of the last few years has been quite dry at times.  I’ve been doing things more for the sake of doing them and getting a grade than for personal growth and letting that shape who I am.  In the midst of worrying about grades, in many ways I’ve lost my first love.  The juniors were a bit of a reminder of that.  I appreciate and value the zeal that many of them have.  I hope that fire that I see in several of them continues to burn bright.

For you juniors that may read this, I have a few words for you.  By now you’ve entered what is potentially a busy and stressful time of the semester.  I encourage you to cling all the more to that which is life-giving, whatever it may be.  Don’t be overcome by desire for getting good marks, for in a couple years no one will care.  Do as well as you can and don’t let the professor’s approval become an idol.  Seek instead to learn and grow in wisdom rather than absorb information like a sponge absorbs water.  The former is the true purpose of education.  The latter is a mutant.  Remember, this growth comes outside of the classroom as well.  Remember to enjoy the people around you and learn from them.  People are far more important than books.  Get some exercise, go out on walks and clear your mind.  Above all else, remember to laugh.  Laugh with abandon.  Laugh so hard that your stomach hurts.  Laughter is great medicine for the soul.  I am convinced that it is a gift God.  I wish that my words could convey the fullness of what I mean here yet I am not the most eloquent of writers so I apologize for that.

This posting is quite a bit more serious and heavy, unusually so for a lighthearted soul such as myself.  My year has not been easy.  It’s had a lot of ups and downs.  It’s had great joy as well.  So if any of you worry for me (Mother), worry not.  For God is good and faithful.  He has blessed me beyond measure.  Not everything in life is as I want it, yet truly I am blessed.  I just need to remember that.

Stirrings of Home

So, I'm not very good at updating this and for that I have to apologize.  I know that there are several people who are curious about my time in Baldwin and I know that my infrequent updates do not help to curb that curiosity.  I have found that when you have a blog, it is best to not write until the muse strikes you to do so.  So I think that I'm conceding my previous ambition to write twice a week in favor of writing when the thoughts come to me.  That way, I hope that the quality of my posts makes up for the lack of quantity. 

That said, the last week or ten days have been uneventful.  My sermon on the 22nd was well received, much to my surprise.  I didn't really feel good about it that morning when I got up, yet people came away from that sermon with things to ponder.  I am sure that the Spirit was at work there, for it wasn't me.  Not to say that on a good Sunday that the Spirit isn't at work, but it becomes more readily apparent on days when the preacher isn't bringing his or her best stuff.  If people are still able to learn and be edified by sermons like that, then praise the Lord.  Today after church though, one of the elders talked to me at coffee time and said that he appreciated my demeanor.  For a rookie, I don't do too bad of a job up there and I appear comfortable.  One thing that he did say that I could improve on was the depth of the sermon, something that he believed would come with time, as life experience accumulates.  I hope so, for I want to have sermons that are deep in nature.  I don't like shallowness in others, so I certainly shouldn't tolerate it in myself.  But dad, I think I have already come a long way since writing about the class trip to Hartwick Pines in fifth grade.  I still have a way to go, but that's okay.  It'll come with time I'm sure.

Today was also the day in which we heard about the mission trip to Malawi that some people from the church (including Pastor Tim) went on for two weeks.  It was good to hear from them and hear the experiences that they had.  You could tell in their eyes and body language that they were pumped, they were on a spiritual high.  It would be interesting to see how this trip they went  on will change their lives.  Sadly I won't be able to witness that change.  It was cool to hear how different Malawi was from the States.  They have to make do with less, and indeed they do.  Community is more valued.  Something that I wonder if we have but a dim view of what it means to live life together sometimes.  I wonder if, in their material poverty, others live richer lives.  I wonder if those of us who have everything we need and want are actually the ones who are impoverished. 

Three weeks from tomorrow I will be driving home to Michigan.  Be quite honest, while I've certainly appreciated my time in Baldwin, I'm ready to head home.  I'm ready to go home.  It will be good to be back among friends and family.  There are two places in life that are deeply embedded in my soul, imprinted in who I am as a person.  One would be that stretch of M-66 from Klinker Corner to Anderson's Orchard.  It's where I grew up.  Where I learned to walk and talk.  Where I learned to read.  A love that was fostered by two parents who encouraged such things.  Its where I had my first victories in life, and where I suffered my first defeats.  Its where I first learned about Jesus.  It's where I was first told by some that Jesus was an angry god who had to be appeased.  It is where I was first told the truth about the beauty of grace.  A gift given out of love by a God who is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.  Memories of that place flood back to me whenever I get into the car to go home. 

Then there is Holland.  That quirky little corner of the world that is stuck in a bygone era, yet also very much in the present time.  Where the beach is only a few minutes away.  Where there is a church on every corner.  Another place where I have laughed and cried.  Sometimes both at the same time.  It's where I've met some of my dearest friends, who are like brothers to me in so many ways.  I didn't have a lot of friends in high school.  The friendships that I had then have not really stood the test of time.  They've faded into distant memory.  High school seems like a lifetime ago.  Yet has only been seven years.  I actually didn't have that many friends in college either, only about three.  Those friendships have stood the test of time.  It is in seminary that I have really come out of my shell though.  So many dear brothers that I know I'll miss next year after we all graduate.  I also have others that I know will not be there this year as well.  I'll miss that.  But we go our separate ways as God leads us on to new things.  I have no doubt though, that many of these friendships that I have made in seminary will stand the test of time. 

I have come to this conclusion about myself:  I am not a wanderer.  I'm someone who loves to settle and set deep roots in some place.  I love to find myself so tied to a place that I cannot imagine life without it.  I have friends who are content to wander the world.  Indeed, some of them may have never known what place they call home.  I cannot say that.  Yet I know that I'm certainly in an ideal place in life to be able to wander the world should I want to.  I do not yet have the constraints of a family of my own.  It gives me freedom to do a little wandering and find out who I am.  So it boggles my mind that we evangelicals seem to emphasize settling young.  Even for those like me that want to.  We all need to wander a little.  It's part of the process of maturing. I know that someday I'll want to settle, indeed, some days I already do.  Like I said though, I'm not tied down.  So I should take advantage of that while I still can.  Don't know how long that will last after all. Though I think I got a few more years yet.

So deep within me are the stirrings for home and hearth, where my family is.  Beyond that is the irresistible call of another year of school with friends.  My last before I walk across the stage in May as a Master of Divinity (or Mastered by Divinity) and enter a new stage in life.  Yet that is in the future and while it is a future I look forward to with great anticipation, I am here in Baldwin for three more weeks among a good little church.  The challenge for me, for which I covet your prayers, is to remain faithful to the task at hand.  That my mind stay in the present, not wandering to the future.  For I have a duty to do, a good one at that.  It'll be a busy three weeks.  Should I stay in the present, it will be a rich and enjoyable three weeks.  For now I am here.  I have three weeks left.  I want to be able say when I get in that car and head east across northern Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula and then south toward home, that I remained faithful to the task at hand and rendered good service here. 

Well, that's about it for tonight.  Tomorrow begins another week.  It is a week to look forward to, for it is a gift.  I hope that this post finds you well.  May God bless you richly in this week ahead. 

An update, because I haven't been good about those.

This summer has been going well while in Baldwin.  I've learned that I can preach without the use of notes.  Not bad for someone who thought that they would be a manuscript preacher for a long time to come.  This past Sunday, I barely used what notes that I had while preaching.  Another thing that I was glad to see this was that people seemed to comprehend what the point of my sermon was.  It always feels good to have someone come up to you and say that you had a good sermon.  All that means nothing if they don't recall a single thing about your sermon.  That just serves as a drug to inflate the preacher's pride more than anything else.  When people come up to you and can remember and understand what you were preaching on, that is something which is more admirable.  When they start to apply it to their lives, that is even better.  It makes me feel good to see that. 

There is a danger to that too however.  I want my preaching to result in fruit.  I don't want to preach for the sake of my own pride.  When I hear these compliments, the danger is that I preach so that I receive compliments.  In the end, that renders my preaching worthless.  For part of preaching means that you call the congregation and yourself to a better way than the way of the world.  If I'm just preaching for compliments, I will never put myself and others out of our comfort zone and we'll never move forward as believers.  Preaching is not for the faint of heart.  It often requires that we say things that need to be said.  It has the potential to invite criticism.  It can sometimes be offensive.  It may even cost you your job.  Yet it is necessary to be honest and humble, never sugarcoating things.  That way, we can grow deeper in our faith.  Show me a church where the preaching is wishy-washy and I can show you a church that is shallow.  It has foundations built on sand.  When the rains and the floods come, it will be washed away as if it never existed.  The people there will never know what it truly means to follow Christ. 

The purpose of preaching is so that people can be torn down and convicted of their sin and see themselves for the broken and hallow shells that they are.  God does not leave us broken after convicting us of our sinfulness however.  The other purpose of preaching is so that the people of God can be built up.  So that we can grow deeper in our faith and learn what it means to be fully human.  So that we may know what love and joy mean.  So that those shadows that we were before we knew Christ may be given substance and a body.  Something that we cannot know outside of Christ.  Like a branch pruned by the gardener, like silver in which the dross has been burned off in the furnace.  That is the impact that our worship and listening to the Word of God being read and expounded upon is supposed to have.  Never should we approach worship lightly.  For God just might very well smack us across the face with a 2x4, even the preacher, especially the preacher.  Actually, he might just use a 2x6 for the preacher.  No wonder Anne Lamott said that we should wear crash helmets to worship.

Alright Andy, let's take it down a notch or two.  Get off the soapbox.  As you have probably gathered by this point, I'm a bit opinionated.  The point is, what we hear on Sunday should challenge us.  It should make us feel uncomfortable.  Through the preacher's words, the Spirit should tell us a better way to live.  It should bring us closer to the Triune God, in whom we have life and breath and being.

As for Baldwin, it's been good.  I have learned a lot and met some great people.  I imagine that when I return home a month from today, I'll miss it.  Yet I know that as the day of departure gets closer, I'll be more eager to return to my home.  I'll be glad to be back among friends and family.  The greatest challenge about Baldwin is that I do not know anyone very well.  I've also always lived with people.  Here in Baldwin, I come home to the sound of silence.  So it can get lonely sometimes.  If a dog greets me, it's because the three dachshunds next door think I've encroached on their territory.  It's not because my mom's two little miniature schnauzers are ecstatic to see me and think I'm the greatest thing since pets, squirrels, and food were invented.  I love being with and living with people, in spite of the headaches that can (and often do) come with it.  It's more than worth it.  That's what living on my own has taught me this summer.  Now the challenge is to remain faithful to where God has placed me as this month I have left turns into three weeks, then two, and so on. 

Also, this time next year, chances are, I'll be on my own again for a time.  I highly doubt that in a year my status as a bachelor will change.  It will someday, just probably not in the next year or two.  So, once I'm on my own, with my own place, I'm getting a dog.  Dogs make great roommates.  Provided they're housebroken and you don't leave them alone with newspapers or books where they can get into them.  That never ends well.

I hope this post finds you well.  Here in Baldwin, things are good.  I'm preaching this Sunday on Romans 3:21-31.  I'll let ya know next week how it goes.  God bless.

I've been here five weeks now.

So I find that I've not been very good at writing in this thing for the last few weeks.  I will try to write more often than I have for those of you who are following this blog.  If you have been reading this though, feel free to make your presence known.  Depending on the subject of the post, we may even start a discussion on the topic.  There have been a lot of things that I'm thinking about.  Hopefully a few of those things will make it into this blog.

First I should tell of this past week.  A week ago, I did something new (for me) in ministry.  I sat in on a meeting between a grieving family and a funeral director.  I took notes on the meeting and this helped with creating a funeral service for a member of the congregation who had passed away.  So I assisted in making the arrangements and the funeral was held this past Saturday.  I did not actually help officiate at the funeral itself, but I did some work behind the scenes.  Including visiting with the family in the hospital not long before this woman died.  Reflecting on this experience, I think that I learned a bit about what families need from pastors when death is imminent.  Mostly, when a family is holding vigil, they need someone there to talk to them.  Many times it helps. 

That is not the only thing that happened this past week either.  I was invited to dinner in a couple homes this past week as well.  I spent the fourth of July with an older gentleman and a couple others and we had dinner together.  There was grilled chicken, cheesy potatoes, potato salad, regular salad, watermelon, and a wonderful dessert that had strawberries.  After dinner, we talked and had good conversation.  Much the same happened the next night at a retired couple's home, only with brats, fruit, pudding, and raw veggies.  At both places, I ate a lot of good food, talked with good people, and went home with a full stomach.  So I'm starting to get people inviting me to dinner.  Pastor Tim and I had put a sign up sheet out at the beginning of the summer, but mostly people have just been calling and asking when I'm available.  That works too.  I've enjoyed the welcome of the people here.  

This summer hasn't been all fun and games though.  Death seems to be a theme that has come up a lot this summer.  First, my family lost my Uncle Kenny, which resulted in me flying home for a week.  Soon after I got back on a Friday afternoon, we found out that a lady in Baldwin was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good.  So Pastor Tim and I visited the hospital that Saturday and then the next day I visited after church.  Not a half hour after I left, she passed away.  Which resulted in me sitting in on this meeting last Monday morning.  I took down notes and helped with making the arrangements for the service.  This was actually quite helpful for me.  Death is not an easy thing and something that we often think about that often, especially at twenty-five.  So one of the things about being a pastor that gave me some pause was in dealing with funerals.  I've had to become acquainted with that the last few weeks.  I think that this experience has helped me and it will make it easier when I actually have to go through the process of walking with a family as they are grieving the loss of a loved one.  That may happen sooner than I think, for Pastor Tim is leaving for Africa in a couple days and won't be back until the 26th.  He'll then be gone again for a week in August.  So in that time, should someone in the congregation pass, I may be walking with that family.  I hope that the last few weeks have prepared me for that should it happen.  I think that they have though.  I find that I have less anxiety on the subject of death and grief than I did a month ago.  I can't complain either, after all, I did ask the Lord what he had in store for me this summer.  The Lord may have another surprise or time up his sleeve as well.  I've still got six weeks left here in Baldwin.  So it will be interesting to see what is just around the corner. 

Back in Baldwin

So it has been awhile since my last post.  I apologize for that, but I haven't really felt like posting anything until now.  The last week has been draining for me and for my family.  There has been a lot to process over the last week.  As you know from my last post, my Uncle Kenny passed away on June 22nd.  This resulted in having an unplanned flight home for a week.  I had not planned on being home for another two months.  Obviously, things didn't work out that way. 

There are a lot of things to talk about, but I'll only be focusing on a couple of them.  I should probably start off by telling you about my unexpected week at home.  To be quite honest, I didn't want to be home, not for this reason.  Now don't get me wrong, the vast majority of my trips home are enjoyable.  It is always good to see family and worship at the little church that gave me a foundation for faith in Christ.  This was different though.  My return home was not a happy occasion.  Instead I had come to be with my family as we buried my Uncle. 

I got home on Friday night.  The arrangements had already been made, so I didn't have to participate in that at all.  On Sunday, I went to church.  It was good to be back among them and to have familiarity in a time of mourning.  This is the congregation that had nurtured me since I was a young child.  It was where I was baptized, where I went to Sunday School, where I had Youth Group, where I first learned of grace.  So it was a comfort to worship with them on a Sunday morning.  They are like family to me.  That afternoon, my family, along with some of Uncle Kenny's friends, sat with Pastor Phil and told stories about him.  That evening, my dad went to play cards and my mom, sister, and I went to get ice cream.  That was when it hit me.  I realized that my uncle was gone.  So as I was eating my ice cream, I was overcome with sadness and I was tired.  If I was someone that cried, I would have been crying then.  I am not someone who cries though.  I can barely remember the last time that I cried.  Instead, I become quiet and retreat to my own little world.  That is how I mourn.  I don't know if that is a healthy way of going about things, but it's how I do that.  I suppose that part of that has to do with the fact that I'm a fairly private person.   

I can say though, that it was good to be with family.  They make me a better person.  The week that I was home reminded me just how much God has blessed me with them.  This past week, I spent a lot of time with them.  I heard stories that I had not heard before.  My dad and I got to talk more than we usually do.  Living apart from family often means that we don't talk as much as we should.  Yet nothing can break the bonds that tie us to our families.  Nor should those ties ever be broken.  Family is not easy to live with at times.  Yet when the chips are down for us, I firmly believe that there is nothing better than to have family by your side. 

Tuesday evening was the visitation.  We had it up in Sheridan because my dad knows the funeral director there.  We didn't really know how many people would show up.  It was absolutely packed from the time it started until about fifteen minutes before it was supposed to end.  I met relatives that I didn't even know I had.  Apparently, my Grandpa Rogers was one of fourteen.  The only siblings left are my great Uncle Sock and great Aunt Suk (nicknames, I have no clue what their real names are).  My Uncle also had a lot of friends.  He was never married and didn't have any kids, but his life was full of good friends.  One of his friends had been his friend since Kindergarten.  Fifty years of friendship.  Wow.  Just wow.  Who does that anymore?  Very few of us do.

On Wednesday, we had the funeral.  There had to have been 150 people there, friends and family.  The pall bearers dressed in Michigan shirts, because Uncle Kenny was a huge Michigan fan.  He puts me to shame.  Personally, I think that can take a lot to do.  We had some music played and Pastor Phil gave a good funeral sermon.  He talked about Uncle Kenny's bluntness, how he took pride in the work that he did, and his loyalty to those whom he loved and cared about.  For someone who didn't know Uncle Kenny personally, it was a really good sermon.  I appreciated it.  It's not easy to do that.  Preach at a funeral where you don't know the person.  I'm sure that in the future, I will be in Pastor Phil's shoes as well.

On Friday, I flew back to Baldwin.  My dad dropped me off at the airport in Grand Rapids at about eight in the morning.  My flight was at 10:00, so I figured that I wouldn't have long to wait and I wanted to make sure that I got through security with plenty of time to spare.  I didn't need to worry about that.  The plane was stuck in Minneapolis due to a mechanical problem.  I actually didn't get into Minneapolis until about 1:30 pm CT.  Yep, that was an exercise in patience.  But I got back to Baldwin safe and sound.  So now I'm here for another seven weeks or so and then I will be returning to Sheridan and back to Holland for another year at WTS.

Without looking ahead and forgetting to enjoy the present, I find that I'm looking forward to being back at Western for one more year.  You see, there are some things that I have come to love about Western.  It's certainly not a perfect place, but I love the people there.  For the first time in my life, I have an extensive network of friends.  I've never really had that before.  In high school, I had a couple fairly good friends, but only ever really did things outside of school with one of them.  If it weren't for youth group, I would have gone crazy.  In college, I had three close friends.  I had other friends as well, but only three who were really close that I actually stay in touch with.  Funny thing is, two of them will be clergymen, one Roman Catholic, the other Anglican.  The other one is at grad school for chemistry. 

Seminary has been a different experience.  I use the term "network" because that's what it is.  There are several different groups of people at the seminary that contain close friends of mine.  There are a couple buddies that I can ring their door bell and stop in for a chat just about any time I want.  Hopefully not to the consternation of their wives.  They both graduated this past May and won't be there next year, but the last two bachelors that I'm really close to just got married and I'm going to be stopping by their apartments next year I'm sure.  I'll have to make friends with other bachelors though.  Then there's my teaching church, where the youth group is and its many leaders.  These people have blessed me in many ways.  Ecclesiastes 4 tells us that "though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken."  Like my uncle did, I have a richer life because of my friends.  I doubt that I would have made it so far in seminary if I hadn't had them.  I am truly stronger because of the friends and family that God has given me.  I am truly blessed.

Well, I said that it had been awhile.  I also said that I would only talk about a couple things and I think I ended up writing a novel.  So we'll have to save the rest for another time.  I hope this post finds you well.  May God be gracious to each of you.

Back in Michigan

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that I would be going to bed tonight in Sheridan.  Yet here I am, I have found myself back in Michigan for a week.  I don't want to be here under these circumstances.  My Uncle Kenny passed away today.  So now I am back here to be with my family for a week. 

I woke up this morning and went downstairs, neglecting to take my cell phone with me as I often do.  I ate my breakfast, checked a couple things on my computer and relaxed for a little while before I went back upstairs and showered.  I checked my cell phone then.  I had five missed calls, three from my mom.  I knew immediately that something was wrong.  When I called back, my mom said that Uncle Kenny would probably not make it through the day.  So I went with Pastor Tim to the office on our day off.  We bought a ticket home on an early evening flight from Minneapolis to Grand Rapids.  My afternoon consisted of getting ready to come home.  This included getting rid of perishable food items and canceling dinner with the family I was supposed to eat with that night.  Then I was dropped off at the airport and caught my flight.  I got back and my mom and one of her friends were there to meet me at the gate.  So now I'm home. 

The funeral arrangements have been made and it'll be on Wednesday.  So now its just a waiting game and next week will be a long week.  Right now, I'm pretty tired.  My family though is exhausted, for it's been an even longer day for them.  This is especially so for my dad.  He spent the night at the nursing home with my uncle last night and didn't really get much sleep.  It's got to be extremely hard on him to lose his brother.  I ask you to pray for my family in the weeks and months ahead.  Do this especially for my dad. 
Pray for comfort in this time of loss.  Thank you my friends.  May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Preaching and other things

Yesterday was my second Sunday here in Baldwin.  It was also my first time preaching before the people here.  So here it is, I preach to a congregation that I know very little about.  I don't actually know the atmosphere that I'm stepping out into.  Is the air toxic?  Or is it more pristine than a mountain breeze?  So there were many unknowns yesterday morning.  I believe that I did pretty well.  There was a little concern heading into yesterday because it was a new congregation.  I think that it will be like that wherever I go.  This will especially be the case when I come to a new call.  There will not be any such thing as easing into the position.  I will have to dive right on in. 

I was also trying something new myself, figuring that it would be okay in this setting if I fell flat on my face.  I'm the intern after all.  I have always been a manuscript preacher.  I have always wrote out my sermons and stuck to the script.  Part of this comes from how preaching class was set up for us our junior year of seminary.  Part of that comes from my own worries and anxieties when it comes to forgetting stuff and freezing up there in the pulpit.  In many ways, a manuscript was my security blanket.  The problem with this is, that if you stick to your script, you end up just reading your sermon to a congregation.  A sermon should be something a bit more interactive than that.  Also, you are saying that your word is the final word on a passage.  You're not leaving any room for the Spirit to speak.  Thing is, when you step into that pulpit and deliver the message, it's not supposed to be you that's speaking, rather it is God speaking through you to the people.  I'm just a mouthpiece. 

So what did I do that was different?  I did not bother to write out a manuscript.  Instead, I wrote an outline.  I wrote it down on small sheets of paper and taped it inside the bible that I was using.  This allowed me to do something else, I also did not use a pulpit.  There was nothing in front of me.  It was me preaching to the congregation, consulting my notes a bit, and doing my best to let the Spirit take care of it and trusting that the words I spoke were what the people needed to hear.  It was certainly a liberating experience.  After yesterday, I feel much more confident when it comes to the act of preaching.  I also found that it added more flexibility to changing things in preparation.  When you write a manuscript, you are loathe to make any great changes later in the week as Sunday looms closer.  With an outline, you are better able to do this as I swapped one illustration for another in my final run through on Saturday night.  I just felt it fit better, so I went ahead and switched it out.  Something I may not have done with a manuscript.

So preaching went well.  How have things been going overall though?  They haven't been too bad.  I've been here two weeks already, so time has certainly flown by.  Yesterday afternoon was a little hard though.  It was Fathers' Day.  I didn't get to celebrate it with my dad.  That makes two Fathers' Days in a row now where I haven't been with the family.  Last year, I was in Iowa.  This year, I'm in Wisconsin.  I'm not sure how important Fathers' Day really is to my dad.  Yet it is certainly good to recognize that he is a good father.  You see, I have truly been blessed in my life to have a dad who is involved in my life.   I remember as a little kid in little league, how he was my coach every year from t-ball up to majors.  I remember that he would always come to my sporting events and whatever else I was in.  He was willing to clear other things out of the way and support me.  Even on those cold and rainy nights in the fall as I stood on the sidelines in football to possibly get my garbage time in high school.  It is deeper than that though.  My dad also taught me a lot of things that I hope make me a good man.  He taught me to accept responsibility for your actions.  If you screw up, own up to it.  Be honest and upfront in how you deal with others.  Be modest and don't let praise go to your head.  I could say other things as well.  But I know that he'll read this or my mom will read it to him.  So I don't want to embarrass him too much.  Now my dad is not perfect, we've had our disagreements over the years.  Yet, I have truly been blessed to have Jim Rogers as a father.

 Now that I have probably thoroughly embarrassed my dad.  He's not someone who likes to hear his praises sung.  Hmm, wonder where I get that from?  There are other reasons why I miss the family.  They've been going through a bit of a rough patch the last few months.  As many of you know, my uncle has not been well.  Naturally, this creates a lot of uncertainty and anxiety for me.  Yet here in Wisconsin, I'm a bit more removed from the situation.  My family has to live in it every day.  Part of me does wish I could at least be closer.  I also don't know if any of the kids from youth group at Second Reformed are reading this, but I also miss them as well.  They're a funny (and fun) group of kids.  During the school year, the most enjoyable parts of the week are often the Wednesday activities and Sunday night youth group. 

Having said that though, I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be right now.  The last couple weeks have been good ones for me.  Yesterday morning was a rewarding experience.  Indeed, I am more excited for when I arrive at that first call, hopefully next summer.  The people here have been friendly and welcoming.  They try not to mistake me for Matt, but it occasionally slips out.  Matt, if you're reading this, I think they really liked you last summer.  The older ladies of the church like me.  That seems to be a trend wherever I go.  Starting in July, I'll be preaching much more frequently.  It'll be good to get into that routine.  I'm preaching from Romans, so this week will be a lot of preparation for that.  So there is a lot to look forward to this summer.  I told the congregation yesterday that I know that I'm here in Baldwin for a reason.  God has something to teach me this summer.  As the weeks go by, I'll learn more and more.  I hope that as you read this post that you are doing well.  God bless you and keep you.  I'll try to write some more on Thursday.

Thoughts on Gamaliel and other things

I'm preaching this Sunday.  Preaching to a congregation that I don't yet really know.  Actually, come August, I still won't know who they are.  I have found that ten weeks gives you very little time to develop relationships with the people you are working with and serving.  I do remember it being said in Counsel and Care that five years even, is not enough time to get to know the congregation.  I'm told that the most effective time for ministry for most pastors is year seven to ten at a parish.  Given that, it's little wonder that these summer internships make me feel as if I'm a peace corps volunteer being parachuted into a remote village, only to be withdrawn soon after.  Like I said, building trust and relationships takes time.  It is one of the many reasons why I hope to not move around much as a pastor.  I would love to be able to stay at least ten years at each church I serve.  So, if I remain a pastor my whole adult life, I'm looking at serving in maybe three or four churches.  That's the plan that I have.

The passage from scripture that I'm preaching on this Sunday could have something to say concerning that plan.  I'm preaching from Acts 5:27-42.  It is a story about how the Apostles were dragged before the Sanhedrin, the ruling council of the Jews.  Now the reason for this is simple.  For the Jewish leaders, the Apostles were preaching a teaching that was heretical, that Jesus was the messiah.  Now this can't be the case, since "cursed is the one who hangs on the tree (Deuteronomy 21:23)."  So this teaching was quite threatening and it had to be stopped.  There is also a political dimension as well.  The people of first century Judea were under occupation by the Romans.  At the first sign of trouble, Caesar's Legions would march forth and crush anyone the got in their way and some of those who didn't.  The Sanhedrin was afraid that this new teaching would stir up trouble.  If the Romans marched in, the Sanhedrin was also afraid that it would lose the political power that it held.  So they had resolved to kill the Apostles for heresy and to appease the Roman desire for order. 

Then we get Gamaliel, a more moderate member of the Sanhedrin who says something quite odd.  He tells them to leave the Apostles alone.  He says that if what they are doing is something that they have contrived on their own, then it will fail, much like the many other false messiahs that have come along through the years.  However, if what they are doing is something that is from God, then the Sanhedrin will not only be unable to stop them, they'll be opposing God.  So the Apostles are flogged and told to stop preaching and stay out of trouble.  We know the rest of the story, they couldn't keep themselves out of trouble.  Indeed, a couple chapters later, we'll see the account of the first Christian martyr, Stephen. 

But who is Gamaliel?  Well Acts tells us that Gamaliel was a highly respected teacher of the Law.  Later in Acts, Paul testifies that he studied at the feet of Gamaliel (Acts 22:3).  There are some who believe that Gamaliel was secretly a follower of Christ, like Nicodemus, keeping his faith secret so that he might aid the Apostles.  The account given to us by Acts could lead one to believe that this might possibly be the case.  I tend to stand with those who are more pragmatic.  I believe that Gamaliel said this in order to marginalize the Apostles.  He basically told the Sanhedrin to ignore them and let this run its course.  Then Jesus and his followers would go the way of Judas the Galilean and Theudas.  Gamaliel was merely being practical here.  For him, I believe that it was a political trick.  I don't know about whether or not he eventually was baptized into the way of Christ.  I hope that later on he was.  Scripture doesn't tell us though.

Gamaliel was attempting to marginalize the message of Jesus here.  I have no doubt about that.  Yet he said something that was very profound.  Acts 5:38-39 says that if we are doing things on our own, we are bound to fail.  However, if what we are doing is from God, then there is nothing that can stop us.  Let's first make sure though that we are listening to what God has to say, lest we go the way of Judas the Galilean or Theudas.  Gamaliel said something quite wise here.  Indeed, subsequent testimony from Acts shows that it is quite hard to oppose what God is doing in the world. 

It is also quite hard to oppose what God is doing in our own lives as well.  It was not my plan to come to Baldwin.  It was actually Plan C for this summer.  I had been planning on going to a church in South Dakota or working for building and grounds at Western.  Both of those plans fell through on the same day back in March.  This chance came up and I put in an inquiry.  It worked out for me and I have ended up here.  I take it that God had other ideas.  There is little doubt in my mind that God has me here for a reason.  One of the things that I have been asking God concerning this summer is, "what do you have to teach me this summer Lord?"  There is something that the people here in Baldwin can teach me about this thing called ministry.  Now later this summer, I may have a chance to reflect on that and I may end up deciding that this was the worst summer ever and that I wish I had never come here.  More likely though, should I listen, I will be able to reflect on what I've learned and appreciate the people here.  Either outcome though, I think, will be a reflection of what God has planned to teach me.  I have a feeling that this is a summer with great potential, more so than if I were still in Holland.  For there, I would only be doing pulpit supply at this point.  I'm not sure how much I would be able to learn from that.  I suppose my preaching would improve.  Yet it is better to learn how to preach while living among the people you are preaching to.  Pulpit supply doesn't always give us that opportunity. 

Remember my first paragraph?  About how I said that I plan on staying at least ten years in any one place and serving maybe three or four churches in my lifetime?  That plan will fail if it is not what God has in store.  If I stick to my plan, I will be miserable in the end.  So it is imperative that I take the time to listen for what God has to say.  This is done through careful study and prayer, in solitude and with others, letting the scripture master me rather than I mastering the scripture.  The coming summer will be interesting.  The coming years even more so.  I hope that this post finds you well.  I have been doing well here in Baldwin.  Pray for me as I preach this coming Sunday morning.  That the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart be found pleasing in the sight of Jesus.  May each of you be blessed.

I've been here a week already

The last week or so actually went quite fast.  I have met a lot of different people and I'm sure that I will not remember names very well, only the faces.  That is one dilemma when it comes to new places.  Everyone else remembers my name, yet for the life of me I cannot remember many of the people that I'm introduced to.  The past few days have been fairly busy.  On Saturday was the big parade for Baldwin's Junebug Days.  It's their yearly festival, similar in many ways to Sheridan's Springfest.  The church had a truck in the parade and they passed out water bottles, little plastic footballs and basketballs, and flyers for an upcoming fundraiser to feed hungry children.  I had the opportunity to walk in the parade with some of the people from church.  I haven't even been here a week and I've already walked in a parade.  I bet not too many pastoral interns can say that.  I could be wrong though.  I haven't heard a lot from others who are doing internships yet.

Yesterday was the day that I worshiped with FRC for the first time.  I must say that there is quite a contrast with how Second Reformed worships and FRC does church.  Second Reformed's niche in Zeeland is that of the more high church variety when it comes to worship.  Worship with FRC yesterday was less formal in nature.  You had to look harder for the hints that it was a worship service in the Reformed mold.  This was mainly in that Pastor Tim gave opening sentences and a prayer of confession was present.  It reminded me of worship at Heartland in Pella in many ways.  The informal atmosphere, the praise music, the type of hymns sung.  They also use the same hymnal as Heartland does I've noticed.  After the service was over, I got the chance to talk to perhaps two dozen people.  Many were interested in where I was from.  They asked me about my family.  Even talked about about sports and the teams I root for.  This friendly demeanor is a common trait in small town churches.  I'm also there for a purpose, people knew who I was once they saw me yesterday morning.  So it was easier for people to introduce themselves to me and have conversations with me.  I have been in the process of crafting a sermon that I'll be preaching to them this coming Sunday, so we'll see how that is received.  It'll be good to grow as a preacher this summer.  I don't get the chance to preach often enough during the school year. 

Last night I took a walk around Baldwin.  In many ways as I walked its streets, it reminded me of Sheridan.  In some places you have nicely kept lawns and next door the house will be in bad need of a new coat of paint and the lawn looks like a hay field.  Sidewalks were also haphazardly placed.  In that way it had the character of Sheridan.  Not at all like Zeeland or Pella, where things are a little more ordered.  I think that I should make a habit of taking walks through this community and become acquainted with its character.  It may tell me more about the people who live here.  I also imagine that conversations with Pastor Tim and others in the coming days will also reveal more about this community.  I'll be able to learn more about this place than merely by sitting in a church office all day.  Be good exercise too.

The last couple days have also been fairly draining.  I tend to be a fairly reserved person around those that I do not know very well.  I'm not the best at meeting people and getting to know them.  So when I'm put in a situation where I am meeting a lot of people, I need to take time to be by myself for awhile so that I can process things.  It has also been a little lonely as well.  That's to be expected though when coming to a town where I know absolutely nobody at all.  Those of you who know me quite well know that I am not so reserved when I'm with you.  Actually, it can be hard to get me to shut up.  At the seminary there's only about two or three people who can do that easily.  I enjoy close fellowship with others.  I haven't had that the last week or so.  I have been much more reserved, yet I can't be reserved all the time, that's just not me.  It will take a few weeks, but these little bumps in the road will be smoothed over as I get more comfortable with my surroundings.  It takes time to do so.  By the end of the summer, I doubt these things will be a problem.  It's part of the transition to a new place is all.

So far it's shaping up to be a good summer.  It's hard to believe that I've been here a week already.  I'm settling into the house I'm staying at pretty well.  It's a little big for one person, but it's a nice place.  I'm grateful to have it.  There are plenty of things to do here.  Today will be sermon prep and this afternoon I'll be going with Pastor Tim to visit some people.  This is something that I look forward to.  The post later this week should update you on what I've been doing and also I will probably give some insights concerning my sermon that I'll be giving this Sunday.  I hope that each of you are doing well.  God bless you.