Irish Blessing

I wish you not a path devoid of clouds,
nor a life on a bed of roses,
not that you might never need regret,
nor that you shall never feel pain.
No, that is not my wish for you.
My wish for you is that you might be brave in times of trial
when others lay crosses upon your shoulders.
When mountains must be climbed
and chasms are to be crossed;
when hope scarce can shine through.
That every gift God gave you might grow along with you.
And let you give the gift of joy to all who care for you.
That you may always have a friend who is worth that name.
Who you can trust, and who helps you in times of sadness.
Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.
One more wish I have for you:
That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you.
This is my wish for you and for all who care for you.
This is my hope for you, now and forever.
------

I try not to be one given to sentimentality, though I probably fail at that.   Life is not a bed of roses with chocolates and sweet things every day.  It can be quite hard, especially in the times we find ourselves in the valleys.  Yet whether you are on the mountaintop or in the deepest valley, this poem does express some of my sentiments for those I love (and in my better moments, also those whom I should love).  That they may have courage in the face of adversity.  That they shall never feel alone.  Finally, that they may know that God upholds them in his providential hand and that they may find themselves secure in that embrace. 

Good Riddance 2012

It’s the last few hours before we bid adieu to 2012 and greet the dawn of 2013.  I suppose I should be sad in some ways that we are leaving 2012 behind and I should look back with nostalgia at this past year.  The reality is, I cannot wait to say good riddance to 2012, and it was not a great year.  Many unhappy things occurred over the past year and I am glad that it will soon be over.  I look forward to 2013 and what it has in store for me.  There are at least two events that will occur, God willing, that will change my life dramatically. 

Yet I should probably say why I thought 2012 a not so good year and add the disclaimer that I may in retrospect find that it was a good year.  Right now I am not so inclined to be charitable to 2012.  The major event personally is that my uncle had a stroke and would eventually pass away two months later.  This has changed our family dynamics quite a bit.  I miss him and I grieve for the loss that means to our family.  These last few months have been quite hard on my Dad as that was his only brother.  My uncle was the last living member of my Dad’s side of the family.  It has been hard on us, but I am sure it has been hardest on my Dad.  As a result, our traditions have changed for Uncle Kenny will no longer be coming up to our house on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The loss of traditions like these is among the myriad reasons why I did not really look forward to Christmas this year.  Which is sad, because this past Christmas was probably the last that I will have at home in Sheridan.  Next year, church obligations will probably mean that I will not be home for Christmas. 

There are also a lot of other changes that have occurred in the last year that have left me feeling lonely.  Along with that, I said goodbye to an old friend as well.  I had visited an older woman in a nursing home as part of my duties at Second Church; she passed away a few weeks ago.  When I walk into that place now to visit others, I will miss that fact that she is no longer there.  Many of the people that I once so relied on are no longer a hop, skip, and a jump away.  I talked a lot about that in the last post however, so I will not sound redundant here by rehashing that.  Yet this year has its reasons for not being a great year.

There were also many events that occurred in our world that make this year a year that we would sooner forget.  Events in Syria continue to defy logic as a madman clings to power.  Thousands of average everyday people have lost their lives as a result.  Our nation’s political process continues to show just how broken it is.  I am convinced that kindergarteners have more maturity than many of our elected officials do.  This also seems to be a year in which many shootings have taken place, Aurora and Sandy Hook Elementary being the most notable.  Numerous events have occurred that may make us lose hope.  Many things happen where all we can say is “How long O Lord?”  Followed soon after by “Come Lord Jesus come and come quickly.” 

Sounds like a pretty bleak picture doesn’t it?  Well if you are still reading by this point, I have to say that 2012 was not all bad.  There has been much for which I bless the Lord.  Several of my dearest friends got married over the past year.  Including two of my closest buddies at WTS who decided to take the plunge into that thing called marriage.  I am convinced that Stephen and Rob both married up, and they give hope to us nice guys, apparently we don’t finish last after all.  My roommate and another buddy of mine also got engaged.  To top that off, in the last month, I have had several friends tell me that they are expecting a child.  June seems to be a popular due date.  There have also been several of my classmates that graduated last May who have received calls to churches and begun their ministries.  For these things and more, I bless the Lord. 

I spent ten weeks in a little town called Baldwin, Wisconsin.  Like with my experience in Pella the previous summer, I felt affirmed in my call to ministry, probably to some rural church somewhere.  I really did enjoy my time among those folks who were eager to help me learn what it means to be a pastor.  My time spent among them gives me high hopes for the church that I will hopefully start to serve in the coming year. 

So 2012 had many woes.  It also had quite a few blessings as well.  My good riddance to it is not a bitter statement for while the year was not great, I do not harbor any ill will towards it (Lest any of you think that based on what I have written thus far).  Yet I am ready to see it go.  For 2013 holds great promise.  Chief among those promises is the fact that I will be graduating from Western Theological Seminary in May.  I will be receiving my Masters degree, first in the family to do so.  Much like four years ago when I graduated from Hope, there will be great celebration in that.  For this degree does not belong fully to me.  Without the support of my family these last 26 years, that simply would not have been possible.  My family continues to be a blessing in the support and encouragement that they have been through the years and for that I bless the Lord.

Lord willing, I will begin serving at my first call in the coming year.  Truth be told, I am excited for that and a little nervous.  I have been preparing for this very calling for the last four years.  To be able to use the tools I have accumulated over the years is something I look forward to.  I look forward to being able to walk alongside others as we figure out what it means to live a life of gratitude for the grace that we have been given.  The downside to that is that this means I will probably say goodbye to my Second Reformed Church family in the coming year.  I know that I will especially miss the kids that I work with in their youth group.  It has been a privilege to see those kids grow the last few years and also a blessing to grow in my time at Second Church and I know I will miss all of them.  So that will certainly be a bittersweet moment when it comes.  Yet change is in the air and 2013 will be a year of transition.  With this comes great uncertainty, yet also great promise.

So good riddance to 2012 and hello to 2013.  I must admit that as I have been writing this, my hard-line stance toward 2012 has softened a bit.  It carried with it many woes, but it also had its blessings as well.  Yet there is a lot to look forward to in 2013 and I find myself optimistic for what God has in store for the coming year.  It will not be easy, of that I am sure.  For between now and Graduation I have to write my Credo and in May I go before Zeeland Classis for my last exams for ordination.  Not easy stuff, yet also entirely doable.  Actually, if anything, being overconfident would be my downfall.

I do not know where life is at for you as we enter this coming year.  For many of you, 2012 was a year to remember.  Some of you are probably more emphatic in wishing it good riddance than I am.  For others, like me, it was probably a mixed bag at best.  Yet as we usher in 2013, I find myself optimistic at my prospects and I believe that it will be a better year than this year just past.  As we enter this New Year, I hope that this post finds you well and I pray that God bestows His blessings on you in the coming year.

Transitions

So, you’ve not heard from me in quite some time.  Sorry about that, I hope that maybe I can be more consistent with this thing.  Writing it should not be a chore, but a joy.  It’s been months and I can say that there’s a lot that has happened in that time.  I’m no longer in Baldwin, I’m back now in Holland and am about to finish my second to last semester of seminary.  I can tell you that the rest of my time in Baldwin was good and I miss the people there, much as I miss the people in Pella.  My drive home from Baldwin was beautiful.  I regret though that I did not get out of the car along US 2 and walk the beach for a bit.  It was the most beautiful part of the drive.  Yet, I did not do that and I find myself back here in Holland for what has been an interesting year thus far.

This year is not all that I hoped that it would be.  Actually, I think that in my mind I had been looking forward to a repeat of last.  Silly man that I am though, I should have remembered that no two years are the same while in school.  Each of them is different in their own ways. 

This year has not been easy.  It’s been a little rough on me in fact.  Many of my dearest friends graduated last spring.  Many of my friends left here at seminary have seen their life circumstances change in such a way that I see them less than I would like.  I have also realized that I care less and less for schoolwork.  The Academy is not my passion and it’s not where I would want to make my mark on this world, nor do I feel called to do so.

Those of you that know me best know that I deeply value a few close people.  Many of those people that I value and hold dear came into WTS at the same time as I.  I have taken a little longer to graduate than many of them however and they have moved on.  As a result, I feel the lack at not having them here with me.  It’s as if a bit of the joy that I found in their companionship is gone.  I grieve that loss.  At the same time, I know that they have moved on to new things and that God is taking them to new places, putting them where he has called them.  Thus in my better moments, I take joy in that.  I still have friends here, dear brothers and sisters that give me great joy.  I’ve even met new friends as well.  I can say that the junior class this year is an excellent group of people.  The ones with whom I’ve spoke at length seem to be quality people.  I lament the fact that I will not really get close to them before I graduate here.  

Yet, I am ready to leave this place.  Not because I hate it or harbor bitterness toward it, but because I think that it is time for me to move on.  At the beginning of this year, I asked the Lord what he had to teach me.  This semester has been a lot about patience and trust.  It’s also helped me to realize that I am ready to no longer be a student, at least not in the formal sense of the word.  Rather I’m ready to move on to the parish, to become the pastor of a church somewhere and walk with them as we seek to grow each day in our faith in the Triune God.

I am not meant to be a scholar.  Indeed, I’ve realized that the academic life has in some ways crushed my spirit.  Though I may be a bit bookish, I am not meant to sit all day in my study and read dusty tomes.  Though the pastoral life is one of study, I know that is not all there is to it.  I hope to walk with others and aid them as they grow deeper in understanding what it means to live a life of gratitude for what the Lord has done.  I want to see others grow deeper in their understanding of the faith and I hope that helps me to grow as well.  I want to teach and be taught.  I hope to enter into the sacred moments of ministry, to show others the love of God for broken ones such as ourselves.

The academic life was once a passion of mine.  Yet I have realized that I had not read anything that was truly meaningful to me from my course work for a couple years.  That was, until I read The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  To read what this martyr wrote kindled a fire in me; something that has not been done in far too long.  I realized that the experience of the last few years has been quite dry at times.  I’ve been doing things more for the sake of doing them and getting a grade than for personal growth and letting that shape who I am.  In the midst of worrying about grades, in many ways I’ve lost my first love.  The juniors were a bit of a reminder of that.  I appreciate and value the zeal that many of them have.  I hope that fire that I see in several of them continues to burn bright.

For you juniors that may read this, I have a few words for you.  By now you’ve entered what is potentially a busy and stressful time of the semester.  I encourage you to cling all the more to that which is life-giving, whatever it may be.  Don’t be overcome by desire for getting good marks, for in a couple years no one will care.  Do as well as you can and don’t let the professor’s approval become an idol.  Seek instead to learn and grow in wisdom rather than absorb information like a sponge absorbs water.  The former is the true purpose of education.  The latter is a mutant.  Remember, this growth comes outside of the classroom as well.  Remember to enjoy the people around you and learn from them.  People are far more important than books.  Get some exercise, go out on walks and clear your mind.  Above all else, remember to laugh.  Laugh with abandon.  Laugh so hard that your stomach hurts.  Laughter is great medicine for the soul.  I am convinced that it is a gift God.  I wish that my words could convey the fullness of what I mean here yet I am not the most eloquent of writers so I apologize for that.

This posting is quite a bit more serious and heavy, unusually so for a lighthearted soul such as myself.  My year has not been easy.  It’s had a lot of ups and downs.  It’s had great joy as well.  So if any of you worry for me (Mother), worry not.  For God is good and faithful.  He has blessed me beyond measure.  Not everything in life is as I want it, yet truly I am blessed.  I just need to remember that.

Stirrings of Home

So, I'm not very good at updating this and for that I have to apologize.  I know that there are several people who are curious about my time in Baldwin and I know that my infrequent updates do not help to curb that curiosity.  I have found that when you have a blog, it is best to not write until the muse strikes you to do so.  So I think that I'm conceding my previous ambition to write twice a week in favor of writing when the thoughts come to me.  That way, I hope that the quality of my posts makes up for the lack of quantity. 

That said, the last week or ten days have been uneventful.  My sermon on the 22nd was well received, much to my surprise.  I didn't really feel good about it that morning when I got up, yet people came away from that sermon with things to ponder.  I am sure that the Spirit was at work there, for it wasn't me.  Not to say that on a good Sunday that the Spirit isn't at work, but it becomes more readily apparent on days when the preacher isn't bringing his or her best stuff.  If people are still able to learn and be edified by sermons like that, then praise the Lord.  Today after church though, one of the elders talked to me at coffee time and said that he appreciated my demeanor.  For a rookie, I don't do too bad of a job up there and I appear comfortable.  One thing that he did say that I could improve on was the depth of the sermon, something that he believed would come with time, as life experience accumulates.  I hope so, for I want to have sermons that are deep in nature.  I don't like shallowness in others, so I certainly shouldn't tolerate it in myself.  But dad, I think I have already come a long way since writing about the class trip to Hartwick Pines in fifth grade.  I still have a way to go, but that's okay.  It'll come with time I'm sure.

Today was also the day in which we heard about the mission trip to Malawi that some people from the church (including Pastor Tim) went on for two weeks.  It was good to hear from them and hear the experiences that they had.  You could tell in their eyes and body language that they were pumped, they were on a spiritual high.  It would be interesting to see how this trip they went  on will change their lives.  Sadly I won't be able to witness that change.  It was cool to hear how different Malawi was from the States.  They have to make do with less, and indeed they do.  Community is more valued.  Something that I wonder if we have but a dim view of what it means to live life together sometimes.  I wonder if, in their material poverty, others live richer lives.  I wonder if those of us who have everything we need and want are actually the ones who are impoverished. 

Three weeks from tomorrow I will be driving home to Michigan.  Be quite honest, while I've certainly appreciated my time in Baldwin, I'm ready to head home.  I'm ready to go home.  It will be good to be back among friends and family.  There are two places in life that are deeply embedded in my soul, imprinted in who I am as a person.  One would be that stretch of M-66 from Klinker Corner to Anderson's Orchard.  It's where I grew up.  Where I learned to walk and talk.  Where I learned to read.  A love that was fostered by two parents who encouraged such things.  Its where I had my first victories in life, and where I suffered my first defeats.  Its where I first learned about Jesus.  It's where I was first told by some that Jesus was an angry god who had to be appeased.  It is where I was first told the truth about the beauty of grace.  A gift given out of love by a God who is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.  Memories of that place flood back to me whenever I get into the car to go home. 

Then there is Holland.  That quirky little corner of the world that is stuck in a bygone era, yet also very much in the present time.  Where the beach is only a few minutes away.  Where there is a church on every corner.  Another place where I have laughed and cried.  Sometimes both at the same time.  It's where I've met some of my dearest friends, who are like brothers to me in so many ways.  I didn't have a lot of friends in high school.  The friendships that I had then have not really stood the test of time.  They've faded into distant memory.  High school seems like a lifetime ago.  Yet has only been seven years.  I actually didn't have that many friends in college either, only about three.  Those friendships have stood the test of time.  It is in seminary that I have really come out of my shell though.  So many dear brothers that I know I'll miss next year after we all graduate.  I also have others that I know will not be there this year as well.  I'll miss that.  But we go our separate ways as God leads us on to new things.  I have no doubt though, that many of these friendships that I have made in seminary will stand the test of time. 

I have come to this conclusion about myself:  I am not a wanderer.  I'm someone who loves to settle and set deep roots in some place.  I love to find myself so tied to a place that I cannot imagine life without it.  I have friends who are content to wander the world.  Indeed, some of them may have never known what place they call home.  I cannot say that.  Yet I know that I'm certainly in an ideal place in life to be able to wander the world should I want to.  I do not yet have the constraints of a family of my own.  It gives me freedom to do a little wandering and find out who I am.  So it boggles my mind that we evangelicals seem to emphasize settling young.  Even for those like me that want to.  We all need to wander a little.  It's part of the process of maturing. I know that someday I'll want to settle, indeed, some days I already do.  Like I said though, I'm not tied down.  So I should take advantage of that while I still can.  Don't know how long that will last after all. Though I think I got a few more years yet.

So deep within me are the stirrings for home and hearth, where my family is.  Beyond that is the irresistible call of another year of school with friends.  My last before I walk across the stage in May as a Master of Divinity (or Mastered by Divinity) and enter a new stage in life.  Yet that is in the future and while it is a future I look forward to with great anticipation, I am here in Baldwin for three more weeks among a good little church.  The challenge for me, for which I covet your prayers, is to remain faithful to the task at hand.  That my mind stay in the present, not wandering to the future.  For I have a duty to do, a good one at that.  It'll be a busy three weeks.  Should I stay in the present, it will be a rich and enjoyable three weeks.  For now I am here.  I have three weeks left.  I want to be able say when I get in that car and head east across northern Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula and then south toward home, that I remained faithful to the task at hand and rendered good service here. 

Well, that's about it for tonight.  Tomorrow begins another week.  It is a week to look forward to, for it is a gift.  I hope that this post finds you well.  May God bless you richly in this week ahead. 

An update, because I haven't been good about those.

This summer has been going well while in Baldwin.  I've learned that I can preach without the use of notes.  Not bad for someone who thought that they would be a manuscript preacher for a long time to come.  This past Sunday, I barely used what notes that I had while preaching.  Another thing that I was glad to see this was that people seemed to comprehend what the point of my sermon was.  It always feels good to have someone come up to you and say that you had a good sermon.  All that means nothing if they don't recall a single thing about your sermon.  That just serves as a drug to inflate the preacher's pride more than anything else.  When people come up to you and can remember and understand what you were preaching on, that is something which is more admirable.  When they start to apply it to their lives, that is even better.  It makes me feel good to see that. 

There is a danger to that too however.  I want my preaching to result in fruit.  I don't want to preach for the sake of my own pride.  When I hear these compliments, the danger is that I preach so that I receive compliments.  In the end, that renders my preaching worthless.  For part of preaching means that you call the congregation and yourself to a better way than the way of the world.  If I'm just preaching for compliments, I will never put myself and others out of our comfort zone and we'll never move forward as believers.  Preaching is not for the faint of heart.  It often requires that we say things that need to be said.  It has the potential to invite criticism.  It can sometimes be offensive.  It may even cost you your job.  Yet it is necessary to be honest and humble, never sugarcoating things.  That way, we can grow deeper in our faith.  Show me a church where the preaching is wishy-washy and I can show you a church that is shallow.  It has foundations built on sand.  When the rains and the floods come, it will be washed away as if it never existed.  The people there will never know what it truly means to follow Christ. 

The purpose of preaching is so that people can be torn down and convicted of their sin and see themselves for the broken and hallow shells that they are.  God does not leave us broken after convicting us of our sinfulness however.  The other purpose of preaching is so that the people of God can be built up.  So that we can grow deeper in our faith and learn what it means to be fully human.  So that we may know what love and joy mean.  So that those shadows that we were before we knew Christ may be given substance and a body.  Something that we cannot know outside of Christ.  Like a branch pruned by the gardener, like silver in which the dross has been burned off in the furnace.  That is the impact that our worship and listening to the Word of God being read and expounded upon is supposed to have.  Never should we approach worship lightly.  For God just might very well smack us across the face with a 2x4, even the preacher, especially the preacher.  Actually, he might just use a 2x6 for the preacher.  No wonder Anne Lamott said that we should wear crash helmets to worship.

Alright Andy, let's take it down a notch or two.  Get off the soapbox.  As you have probably gathered by this point, I'm a bit opinionated.  The point is, what we hear on Sunday should challenge us.  It should make us feel uncomfortable.  Through the preacher's words, the Spirit should tell us a better way to live.  It should bring us closer to the Triune God, in whom we have life and breath and being.

As for Baldwin, it's been good.  I have learned a lot and met some great people.  I imagine that when I return home a month from today, I'll miss it.  Yet I know that as the day of departure gets closer, I'll be more eager to return to my home.  I'll be glad to be back among friends and family.  The greatest challenge about Baldwin is that I do not know anyone very well.  I've also always lived with people.  Here in Baldwin, I come home to the sound of silence.  So it can get lonely sometimes.  If a dog greets me, it's because the three dachshunds next door think I've encroached on their territory.  It's not because my mom's two little miniature schnauzers are ecstatic to see me and think I'm the greatest thing since pets, squirrels, and food were invented.  I love being with and living with people, in spite of the headaches that can (and often do) come with it.  It's more than worth it.  That's what living on my own has taught me this summer.  Now the challenge is to remain faithful to where God has placed me as this month I have left turns into three weeks, then two, and so on. 

Also, this time next year, chances are, I'll be on my own again for a time.  I highly doubt that in a year my status as a bachelor will change.  It will someday, just probably not in the next year or two.  So, once I'm on my own, with my own place, I'm getting a dog.  Dogs make great roommates.  Provided they're housebroken and you don't leave them alone with newspapers or books where they can get into them.  That never ends well.

I hope this post finds you well.  Here in Baldwin, things are good.  I'm preaching this Sunday on Romans 3:21-31.  I'll let ya know next week how it goes.  God bless.

I've been here five weeks now.

So I find that I've not been very good at writing in this thing for the last few weeks.  I will try to write more often than I have for those of you who are following this blog.  If you have been reading this though, feel free to make your presence known.  Depending on the subject of the post, we may even start a discussion on the topic.  There have been a lot of things that I'm thinking about.  Hopefully a few of those things will make it into this blog.

First I should tell of this past week.  A week ago, I did something new (for me) in ministry.  I sat in on a meeting between a grieving family and a funeral director.  I took notes on the meeting and this helped with creating a funeral service for a member of the congregation who had passed away.  So I assisted in making the arrangements and the funeral was held this past Saturday.  I did not actually help officiate at the funeral itself, but I did some work behind the scenes.  Including visiting with the family in the hospital not long before this woman died.  Reflecting on this experience, I think that I learned a bit about what families need from pastors when death is imminent.  Mostly, when a family is holding vigil, they need someone there to talk to them.  Many times it helps. 

That is not the only thing that happened this past week either.  I was invited to dinner in a couple homes this past week as well.  I spent the fourth of July with an older gentleman and a couple others and we had dinner together.  There was grilled chicken, cheesy potatoes, potato salad, regular salad, watermelon, and a wonderful dessert that had strawberries.  After dinner, we talked and had good conversation.  Much the same happened the next night at a retired couple's home, only with brats, fruit, pudding, and raw veggies.  At both places, I ate a lot of good food, talked with good people, and went home with a full stomach.  So I'm starting to get people inviting me to dinner.  Pastor Tim and I had put a sign up sheet out at the beginning of the summer, but mostly people have just been calling and asking when I'm available.  That works too.  I've enjoyed the welcome of the people here.  

This summer hasn't been all fun and games though.  Death seems to be a theme that has come up a lot this summer.  First, my family lost my Uncle Kenny, which resulted in me flying home for a week.  Soon after I got back on a Friday afternoon, we found out that a lady in Baldwin was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good.  So Pastor Tim and I visited the hospital that Saturday and then the next day I visited after church.  Not a half hour after I left, she passed away.  Which resulted in me sitting in on this meeting last Monday morning.  I took down notes and helped with making the arrangements for the service.  This was actually quite helpful for me.  Death is not an easy thing and something that we often think about that often, especially at twenty-five.  So one of the things about being a pastor that gave me some pause was in dealing with funerals.  I've had to become acquainted with that the last few weeks.  I think that this experience has helped me and it will make it easier when I actually have to go through the process of walking with a family as they are grieving the loss of a loved one.  That may happen sooner than I think, for Pastor Tim is leaving for Africa in a couple days and won't be back until the 26th.  He'll then be gone again for a week in August.  So in that time, should someone in the congregation pass, I may be walking with that family.  I hope that the last few weeks have prepared me for that should it happen.  I think that they have though.  I find that I have less anxiety on the subject of death and grief than I did a month ago.  I can't complain either, after all, I did ask the Lord what he had in store for me this summer.  The Lord may have another surprise or time up his sleeve as well.  I've still got six weeks left here in Baldwin.  So it will be interesting to see what is just around the corner. 

Back in Baldwin

So it has been awhile since my last post.  I apologize for that, but I haven't really felt like posting anything until now.  The last week has been draining for me and for my family.  There has been a lot to process over the last week.  As you know from my last post, my Uncle Kenny passed away on June 22nd.  This resulted in having an unplanned flight home for a week.  I had not planned on being home for another two months.  Obviously, things didn't work out that way. 

There are a lot of things to talk about, but I'll only be focusing on a couple of them.  I should probably start off by telling you about my unexpected week at home.  To be quite honest, I didn't want to be home, not for this reason.  Now don't get me wrong, the vast majority of my trips home are enjoyable.  It is always good to see family and worship at the little church that gave me a foundation for faith in Christ.  This was different though.  My return home was not a happy occasion.  Instead I had come to be with my family as we buried my Uncle. 

I got home on Friday night.  The arrangements had already been made, so I didn't have to participate in that at all.  On Sunday, I went to church.  It was good to be back among them and to have familiarity in a time of mourning.  This is the congregation that had nurtured me since I was a young child.  It was where I was baptized, where I went to Sunday School, where I had Youth Group, where I first learned of grace.  So it was a comfort to worship with them on a Sunday morning.  They are like family to me.  That afternoon, my family, along with some of Uncle Kenny's friends, sat with Pastor Phil and told stories about him.  That evening, my dad went to play cards and my mom, sister, and I went to get ice cream.  That was when it hit me.  I realized that my uncle was gone.  So as I was eating my ice cream, I was overcome with sadness and I was tired.  If I was someone that cried, I would have been crying then.  I am not someone who cries though.  I can barely remember the last time that I cried.  Instead, I become quiet and retreat to my own little world.  That is how I mourn.  I don't know if that is a healthy way of going about things, but it's how I do that.  I suppose that part of that has to do with the fact that I'm a fairly private person.   

I can say though, that it was good to be with family.  They make me a better person.  The week that I was home reminded me just how much God has blessed me with them.  This past week, I spent a lot of time with them.  I heard stories that I had not heard before.  My dad and I got to talk more than we usually do.  Living apart from family often means that we don't talk as much as we should.  Yet nothing can break the bonds that tie us to our families.  Nor should those ties ever be broken.  Family is not easy to live with at times.  Yet when the chips are down for us, I firmly believe that there is nothing better than to have family by your side. 

Tuesday evening was the visitation.  We had it up in Sheridan because my dad knows the funeral director there.  We didn't really know how many people would show up.  It was absolutely packed from the time it started until about fifteen minutes before it was supposed to end.  I met relatives that I didn't even know I had.  Apparently, my Grandpa Rogers was one of fourteen.  The only siblings left are my great Uncle Sock and great Aunt Suk (nicknames, I have no clue what their real names are).  My Uncle also had a lot of friends.  He was never married and didn't have any kids, but his life was full of good friends.  One of his friends had been his friend since Kindergarten.  Fifty years of friendship.  Wow.  Just wow.  Who does that anymore?  Very few of us do.

On Wednesday, we had the funeral.  There had to have been 150 people there, friends and family.  The pall bearers dressed in Michigan shirts, because Uncle Kenny was a huge Michigan fan.  He puts me to shame.  Personally, I think that can take a lot to do.  We had some music played and Pastor Phil gave a good funeral sermon.  He talked about Uncle Kenny's bluntness, how he took pride in the work that he did, and his loyalty to those whom he loved and cared about.  For someone who didn't know Uncle Kenny personally, it was a really good sermon.  I appreciated it.  It's not easy to do that.  Preach at a funeral where you don't know the person.  I'm sure that in the future, I will be in Pastor Phil's shoes as well.

On Friday, I flew back to Baldwin.  My dad dropped me off at the airport in Grand Rapids at about eight in the morning.  My flight was at 10:00, so I figured that I wouldn't have long to wait and I wanted to make sure that I got through security with plenty of time to spare.  I didn't need to worry about that.  The plane was stuck in Minneapolis due to a mechanical problem.  I actually didn't get into Minneapolis until about 1:30 pm CT.  Yep, that was an exercise in patience.  But I got back to Baldwin safe and sound.  So now I'm here for another seven weeks or so and then I will be returning to Sheridan and back to Holland for another year at WTS.

Without looking ahead and forgetting to enjoy the present, I find that I'm looking forward to being back at Western for one more year.  You see, there are some things that I have come to love about Western.  It's certainly not a perfect place, but I love the people there.  For the first time in my life, I have an extensive network of friends.  I've never really had that before.  In high school, I had a couple fairly good friends, but only ever really did things outside of school with one of them.  If it weren't for youth group, I would have gone crazy.  In college, I had three close friends.  I had other friends as well, but only three who were really close that I actually stay in touch with.  Funny thing is, two of them will be clergymen, one Roman Catholic, the other Anglican.  The other one is at grad school for chemistry. 

Seminary has been a different experience.  I use the term "network" because that's what it is.  There are several different groups of people at the seminary that contain close friends of mine.  There are a couple buddies that I can ring their door bell and stop in for a chat just about any time I want.  Hopefully not to the consternation of their wives.  They both graduated this past May and won't be there next year, but the last two bachelors that I'm really close to just got married and I'm going to be stopping by their apartments next year I'm sure.  I'll have to make friends with other bachelors though.  Then there's my teaching church, where the youth group is and its many leaders.  These people have blessed me in many ways.  Ecclesiastes 4 tells us that "though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken."  Like my uncle did, I have a richer life because of my friends.  I doubt that I would have made it so far in seminary if I hadn't had them.  I am truly stronger because of the friends and family that God has given me.  I am truly blessed.

Well, I said that it had been awhile.  I also said that I would only talk about a couple things and I think I ended up writing a novel.  So we'll have to save the rest for another time.  I hope this post finds you well.  May God be gracious to each of you.